I want to close out my 2013 blog posts with a little post about my 2014 goal. I have just ONE goal because I feel like this one goal umbrellas everything else. It must be my only goal for 2014. The one thing I want to put all my focus on and one thing that I know will snowball into so many great things. That one thing is to nurture and cherish my relationship with my Lord and Savior.
Wait! If you are reading this and that statement just made you squirm a little or really uncomfortable or slightly annoyed or even highly disgusted, I want you to keep reading because I need you to know something. I need you to know that I am no longer going to be ashamed of writing and sharing what I feel in my gut and in my soul to be so true. I don’t think I have held back with telling people I am a Christian, but I have held back from going further than that. In 2014 I want my priorities to be in line in a way they have never been before. I want to let go of this control I have and just trust in God. And for that reason, this post applies to you whether you are cringing or anticipating each word of it. Because here is the truth. I have this deep deep desire to love. And not just the people who are easy to love, but the people who are not so easy to love. And so if you are reading this and you are in any way feeling uncomfortable, I encourage you to keep reading because this has nothing to do with making you feel uncomfortable, but everything to do with making you feel even more comfortable and even more loved.
Towards the end of 2013 I had a minor breakdown about my goals and dreams for my business and the pressure of making a successful brand, and being a present mom and a serving wife. It was around this time I started to do bible studies and journaling consistently each morning. Although I was doing these bible studies and feeling so fed first thing in the morning, I had this little fire that was beginning to form, but with no oxygen to keep it burning. Something still wasn’t right, something wasn’t clicking for me. I was pleasing God by doing these bible studies, right? I was pleasing Him by praying all the time, right? This is what he wanted from me, wasn’t it?
And then for Christmas my brother, who is a Pastor of a West Virginian church, gifted me an amazing book called, The Cure. And after having several discussions with my hubby this weekend about what we believe our calling is and then reading the first chapter and listening to my brother’s sermon on it, everything became so clear to me. It all came crashing on my heart so hard.
I need to TRUST IN THE LORD! I need to focus on Him and seek Him. I need to believe that I am where I am for a reason. That he has me exactly where I am for His plan. I need to STOP trying to please everyone or please Christ and instead JUST start trusting in Him. I need to stop asking, What can I do? What do you want ME to do? And start seeking Him selflessly. I need to stop comparing myself to others, wondering what am I doing wrong and just know that I am perfectly created in his eyes and I have been given a FREE gift of grace. That in order to accept this grace all I have to do is to empty my hands of all the things I am doing that is trying to please God. He just wants ME – present and faithful. He just wants me to trust Him.
My brother described it in his sermon, Two Roads, by asking this: What is your primary motive in life? If you take the road of pleasing God. You become focused on value performance which leads to behavior modification and results in being self-centered.
BUT…
IF I TRUST God then I will value relationships with God..which lead to LOVE, and result in being others centered.
I want to be OTHERS CENTERED. I want to NOT focus on my business for one everlovin’ second! I want to NOT worry about what I am doing wrong or right and instead be focused on believing and trusting that I am where I am because God has ordained for that to be. I want to have joy in that fact.
I want to have faith like Paul wrote to Phillipeans while imprisoned. He said, “ I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith so that through my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me.”
He was imprisoned and he had so SO much faith!!! He would have rather been dead so as to be with Christ, but instead of asking God why he was there in his situation on earth, he trusted that God had him there specifically to advance the Gospel to the people. Wow! Just, wow! There was no pity party or comparison games or whining. It was ALL his faith in Christ and he has so much joy because of it.
So, here I go, 2014. This is my year of TRUSTING IN HIM. The year where I am not focused on what I can do, but instead focus on trusting God so that I can value relationships of all sorts, most especially, my relationship with my King! In 2014 I am going to trust and love more and then I can finally give a little more oxygen to this fire that has been trying to burn inside me.
That is my one and only goal for 2014. And I can’t wait to share with you all the ways that I am seeking Him
Which road will you choose? The road of Pleasing God or Trusting in Him?
To being others-centered and trusting in 2014,
+ COMMENTS
add a comment