Stand Watch and Drink Deeply

The concept of perfection is not flawless or ripped from a magazine. It’s happiness. Happiness with all it’s messiness and not-quite-thereness. It’s knowing life is short, and the moments we choose to fill our cup with should be purposeful and rich. That we should be present for life, that we should drink deeply. And that’s perfection.

– Kelle Hampton

I can’t tell you how many times I have read this quote in the past few weeks and have come up short of living out the content of its words. I struggle on most days at filling my cup with the purposeful and rich moments. Even though I look forward to these moments in my day-to-day, I feel weighted by the chains of distraction and the worries that blanket my heart. And that rolls over into my struggle with being present. Present for my husband. Present for my babies. This past week has been an interesting one for me. I’ve had a few enlightening instants that have made me wonder what moments I’m using to fill my cup. One of which was a humbling experience when Addisyn told the computer screen “She’s my momma, Puter!” I want prayers to be answered and for things to become easier. I feel like I have worked so hard to be somewhere different, but I haven’t gotten there. But why do I desire something different anyway – whatever that may be – instead of just being content in the moment that I am living? Yes, I think it would be nice to be able to work from home and not feel guilty that I am ignoring my family, or play with the kids and not feel guilty that I should be doing work. Yes, I think it would be nice to give my heart into something and it just work out perfectly. Yes, I think it would be nice to live out my passion for marriage more within my own marriage. But why does this all stop me from drinking deeply in the moments that I am in?

I suppose we all kind of live under the “grass is greener” mentality at some point in our lives. I know I do more than I should. I long to run away from the worries of the world with my hubby and kids and travel the globe. I long to let the kids discover new things, to homeschool, to visit family far away, to meet new people, to have my heart set on fire for a ministry in another country. I long for road trips that are completely unplugged where we can reconnect as a family again. I long for the pain to be erased that grips my closest friends because they have lost loved ones. I long for days unplugged where we can fill our cups with a thousand wonderful moments that we will need to drink from many times throughout our lives. But most of all, I long for the light of the The Lord to seep deep into those last remaining dark corners of my heart that hold past hurts and pains so that I can embrace this life He has given me in all it’s complexity, and even, in all it’s simplicity. And I guess the whole point of this blog post is my way of sharing that I think He is doing that, ever so slowly, but He is making things beautiful…we just have to be patient.

Last night I went to Community Group for our church and we read this bible verse:

I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint. And the Lord answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision waits it’s appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. – Habbukuk 2: 1-3

Of course I am drawn to the Lord’s words that He promises He is doing work even when we don’t think He is, but I also love Habbukuk’s faithfulness. He says he will stand watch on the tower of his watchpost and wait for God’s answer. He illustrates patience and faithfulness despite the circumstances of being in a time where his countrymen are living in fear and oppression from an evil people. I want that faithfulness. I want to stand watch at my own present day watchpost, looking into the eyes of my joyful daughter as we play a simple game together on the floor of her playroom. I want to stand watch in the arms of my husband when he prays with me and tries so hard to make the best of our incredibly awesome journey in life right now.

Why are we always thinking about what we don’t have when we can be drinking deeply from the moments that we choose to fill our cup and standing watch with patience and faithfulness that God will answer our prayers?

Stand watch and drink deeply, my friends. He hears you and is making things beautiful in your life.

XO,

Stacy