One More for Love The Story: Chapter 9 – Me, Myself, and I

It was her. While still in formation, I tried to catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye, but she was too far down the rank for me to make a positive visual identification. It was not until after roll call was dismissed that I confirmed that the person who claimed to be Sergeant Morey was the true blue, drop dead gorgeous, puts my heart on a roller coaster: Sergeant Stacy Morey. Right after roll call, Sergeant Marx and I went into the break room to pick up my tool box and discuss which planes we’d be splitting off to. A few minutes into our conversation Sergeant Morey walked right by us nearly brushing her shoulder against mine. I turned my head as she passed by me and, as she went to leave the building, I saw her face.


Noticing my prolonged gaze, Sergeant Marx asked, “How about that, Hart?” Nodding his head toward Sergeant Morey just as the sliding glass doors closed behind her.


“What do you mean?” I asked, hoping he wasn’t going to completely call me out for staring.


“Sergeant Morey. You know she’s divorced right?” He said as if everyone was aware of her relationship status.


“Oh really? No, I didn’t know that.” I said, using all the focus I could manage to remain calm. My mind was traveling at a thousand miles an hour. I tried to mentally put together everything that was going on in this situation. Sergeant Morey was not only going to be on my shift, but she also was no longer married … and I was in a committed relationship. My heart buried itself somewhere behind my stomach. There it was. Not that I thought I stood a chance of being with her, but there was no chance I was going to pursue her while I was with Melissa.


“Yeah, she has been divorced for some time now. She’s dating that Airman Bollard guy who works at the tool crib.” Said Sergeant Marx, as he got up from the table to grab a snack.


“Oh, ok.” I replied. Honestly, I was relieved. It would be impossible to come to work every day and watch the guys on my shift try to impress her with their pick-up lines and corny jokes while I stood by and watched her get swept off her feet. As long as she was with someone else it meant she was off the market and, although it made the idea of being with her even more farfetched, it also meant I couldn’t be too hard on myself for being in a relationship while she was single.


I grabbed my tool box and met Sergeant Marx at the snack bar. We called for a truck to pick us up and take us out to our respective planes. As we headed out the door, I saw Sergeant Morey standing right outside the smoke pit in mid conversation with one of my coworkers, Airman York. He was tall, lean, and spoke with a monotone voice. They were standing about twenty feet away. She was holding a cigarette in one hand in a mature confident way while Airman York was completely engaged in their conversation, not breaking eye contact even for a second. Sergeant Marx went to the smoke pit and I stood just outside the door waiting for the truck.


In the time I spent peering over at the conversation between Sergeant Morey and Airman York, I realized something. Airman York was in a relationship, had been for some time, and seemed to have no agenda behind their conversation. They were laughing at times and serious at others, but they both appeared to be genuinely enjoying each other’s company for the pure satisfaction of good conversation…I had it all wrong. When I thought about approaching her, I was always concerned with myself. How do I look? What will I say? What is the best way for me to approach her? I was so busy feeling intimidated or trying to prognosticate the outcome of my introduction that I never once considered what it might be like to actually get to know her. I never thought of what a good friend she might be. Or that she might be really smart or tell great jokes. Or that she might have interesting stories or like the same sports as I do. For all I knew she was rude, conceded, and annoying. The point is: I didn’t know. I had been so focused on beating myself up for not having a chance to be her boyfriend, that I hadn’t considered what an incredible person she might be and how enjoyable it could be to have her in my life…even if we were just friends.


I watched her laugh in her conversation and heard Airman York say, “That’s what it’s like in relationships. When you find someone who you can put up with, you marry them.”


“I think you have it all wrong, York.” Was her light hearted response.


Relationships…that’s a conversation I can get in on. I thought to myself. Without any hesitation or evaluation, just a “here we go”, I joined in.