The Buried Life

June 6, 2011

Steve and I have a guilty pleasure TV show that we try to catch from time to time. I don’t normally watch MTV (Music Television) since they stopped playing actual music videos some 15 years ago, but as my current stay-at-home-mom gig would allow, I am able to catch Rachel Ray almost every morning if I want to (normally I am busy chasing a little one around). Anyhow, a while back I caught a portion of one of Rachel Ray’s shows when she was interviewing four young men who were known for a MTV reality television show called The Buried Life. Basically, the point of the show was for these four men to check everything off their list that they wanted to do before they died. The name “The Buried Life” came about from a poem that was written by Matthew Arnold in 1852. It was about how our lives can get so busy that they end up getting buried which stops us from enjoying life. Here is a small excerpt from the poem:

But often, in the world’s most crowded streets,
But often, in the din of strife,
There rises an unspeakable desire
After the knowledge of our buried life;
A thirst to spend our fire and restless force
In tracking out our true, original course;
A longing to inquire
Into the mystery of this heart which beats
So wild, so deep in us–to know
Whence our lives come and where they go.

Last night, as I was putting the finishing touches on an anniversary card for Steve, I thought of this show. Today, we are celebrating our three year wedding anniversary and I honestly don’t know where time went, but I do know it has been amazing. I don’t look at my life and wonder where it has gone because I know exactly where I am supposed to be. I love the point of The Buried Life, but at the same time I think we all get caught up in things like getting a bigger house, better clothes, going on cooler trips, and crazy adventures. How about the not so material, but VERY obvious important things? I often give myself the gravestone test. Whenever life seems to fill up and the balance scales start tipping towards being successful at my job, buying a bigger house or better clothes, I think about what would I want written on my gravestone? That I am homeowner of a HUGE house? That I was a great employee at (insert company name here) or even that my photography business was successful? Nope, it is simply going to be that I was a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. So last night I created the first thing on my list.

Before I die I want to…

grow old with Steve and love him more with each passing day.

What’s the first thing on yours?

With Love,

Stacy Hart

…By the way my list would also consist of traveling to Italy for a month, shooting a wedding in New Zealand, writing a book with my hubby, and eating my idea of the best feast ever (crab legs, boardwalk french fries, ceaser salad, rolls with butter, chips and salsa, coca-cola and wine) while overlooking the sunset on a beach.

I wouldn’t normally post this pic because of the random lady in the background, but I thought I would show you what Addisyn does with my drink when I can’t hold a camera and my drink.

+ COMMENTS

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Amy says:

June 6, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Love all your posts but babe… This one is my favorite. For me, it is so very easy to get so bogged down in the day to day stuff. When I'm really feeling crappy and overwhelmed… Tired of laundry, tired of picking up legos the size of tiny pebbles, tired of picking up someones DSI for the 5 bijilionth time, tired of the older boys bickering, tired of magic erasing Connor's "artwork" from the wall, tired of making sure ALL the boys, big and small like what's for dinner..etc..etc (don't even get me started on bathrooms) ……………. I refer to my daily life as Groundhog Day. Kinda like that old Bill Murray movie where everyday he wakes up and does the same thing over & over again. I have days, more often than not, where I just want to hide away in the closet for a few minutes. Or days. But this past weekend I actually got to go visit one of my closest friends in DC. I had a great time being lazy, then walking around the busy city streets, and enjoying just a taste of the single girl in the city lifestyle. No laundry, no homework, no dinner to make, no explaining why it's not ok to stick things in or near your nose. Just peace and quiet and adult time with my favorite friend. But I have to say, by Sunday I was ready to go home. Ready to go back to me boys and do their laundry and get them ready for school. I want to be the mom who gets to see her 2 year olds every mile stone…. Not drive to Dc everyday to work 9-5. I want to be that Mom that my kids know they can rely on, and trust, and know I'm always there. I want to be the best mom and wife I possibly can because that IS my job. And yea, somedays I don't like my job. But that doesnt mean I don't love it. So while I wish for a nice fancy vacation, a bigger truck to haul everyone in, a new kitchen for my house, maybe a new purse that's not from Target… I know that in order to get those things I would have to give up the one thing I can never replace and that's being able to be home and watch my kids grow up. And I wouldn't give that up for anything…. Not even a clean bathroom with the toilet seat DOWN.

Thank you for your blog. It's always a vital reminder for me to stop and just love.

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Darcy says:

June 7, 2011 at 7:10 am

Love Addisyn's bathing suit! So cute!!!

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Angela says:

June 7, 2011 at 9:55 am

Love this post (especially the sandy piggies pic!!!). But I REALLY appreciated "Amy"'s comment. Wow… she basically summed up all that is in my heart and soul. Some days I don't like my job either (as my days pretty much look exactly like Amy's), but I would never EVER give it up! Not for all the riches in all the world. Thanks for sharing, Amy… it so encouraging to know I have a kindred spirit out there. :)

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Amy says:

June 7, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Thanks Angela!!! It's nice to have someone else out there feel the same. Of course I love my 3 boys with a fierceness, but there are days when I don't really like one or all of them :). I'm a stay home mom and I'm so glad that I am able to say that. I know how it is to go to a 9-5 job and get that paycheck, to work overtime to fInish a deadline, to get a sweet bonus that could buy my favorite Coach bag. I also know sitters and how a lot of that paycheck eventually went to them to watch my then 2 boys. Milestones were made in someone elses home. And then all of a sudden my oldest baby is going to preschool and the time is going by so fast I that I can't remember when he grew up. So I stopped working a career that I really liked at a place I'd been for 7 years. But I got to spend that summer before "real" school started (Kindergarden) home with Jack and the baby and it was the best summer ever. I felt like I was playing hookey for 3 months. But then, once summer was over & he left for school each morning I got to have some glorious alone time with just his little brother. And at first I thought this is the easy life! Chillin at home all day, playing with my boy. But then terrible 2's started (never left either), and homework was brought home, my Hubby took on more hours since I was home, and things just generally got more chaotic. I found myself always playing catchup with something. Little did I know the chaos that would eventually come. REAL chaos. That's what you get when you add another boy to the mix. Then I had one catching a bus for elementary, one I had to get to preschool and back, all while toting a colicy infant. Taking care of my kids turned into a juggling act. It really was like a circus, or maybe more like a carnival… You think it's going to be super fun but you kids spinning around taking rides (usually down the stairs), sticky dirty hands, and something always smells funny. And that's how it is now too. My youngest is now 2, and the other two boys are both in elementry school during the day so it's a bit easier I guess. Now instead of a colicy, crying baby I have a messy, accident prone toddler. And homework the kids needs help with that sometimes I don't even understabd. Laundry with 3 boys and a husband is insane. I spend all day cleaning and it takes the boys all of 10 minutes to destroy it. The oldest two constantly bicker about the stupidest things in the history of stupid things. Someone is always unhappy about what's for dinner. So of course it's not fun and it's messy, and most days I just want to put everyone to bed at 6:00 and drink a bottle of wine. I know there are some moms that love this stuff and go on about the million and one reasons they love their kids and being with them 24-7, and being a room mom/pta president/etc. Thats not me and its not real life. No SAHM is 100% happy with their day to day but then again who is. Its not all hugs and kisses and rainbows and unicorns (although a unicorn would be pretty damn cool)….But I still wouldn't change it for the world. I get to see my kids personalities form and get to know the person they are becoming. I get to be apart of that. And even on a day where I don't like that person very much, I love them unequivocally. Even when they forget to put the toilet seat down. :)

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Amy says:

June 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Perhaps we should rename this post "Amy's Buried Life"… Because damn, Wordy much Amy?! :)

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